


your sweater

by dinosunoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bad Decisions, Bad Sex, M/M, What Was I Thinking, bad angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosunoo/pseuds/dinosunoo
Summary: on that cold night of december, you felt colder than the wind.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	your sweater

**Author's Note:**

> this is dino on twitter, i posted this before but i decided to publish it for good here! please let me know if you like it, it is my first time uploading my work! 
> 
> i recommend listening to 'Heather' by Conan Gray as this fic was inspired by his song!
> 
> i love you! thank you for reading it!

* * *

Oikawa looked at his phone, pinging at the notification Iwaizumi just sent. He pulled his scarf a little closer to him, walking towards the cafe they agreed to meet at. He put his phone back into his coat pocket, trying to keep himself warm. Winter just dawned upon them, the trees were bare and the seasons are changing faster than he thought.

He hasn’t seen Iwaizumi for 2 years.

Oikawa had just returned from Brazil, taking this holiday to visit his parents for the new year and catch up with some friends. When Iwaizumi knew Oikawa was coming back, he immediately requested a meeting with him. Oikawa should have known better, as he scrolled through his social media in Brazil, the pictures of Iwaizumi and her still etched in his brain. 

He knew Iwaizumi wanted to introduce her before Oikawa decides to run away again, and it couldn’t be helped. Oikawa really should have known he would move on to someone new. 

He pushed the golden handle on the door, the smell of coffee beans immediately filled his nose and the bell chimed above his head. 

“Welcome!” The baristas behind the counter said to him, busy skimming the milk and grinding the coffee beans. Oikawa hummed a response to them and scanned the area. There were many empty tables so he decided to sit down on the couch, the table was enough to occupy two others. There were only a few other patrons in the cafe, soft music and chatter floated in the air. 

Just as Oikawa took off his coat and scarf, the bell chimed again and he could hear Iwaizumi’s footsteps so clearly, along with softer footsteps following behind. He hesitated looking up, but he could feel Iwaizumi looking at him. Oikawa sucked in a short breath, suddenly feeling breathless as he looked at Iwaizumi. 

Then he shifted his gaze to the petite girl standing behind him. Her long hazelnut hair was smoothly tossed behind her shoulders. She was beautiful, one look at her, everyone will definitely fall in love. 

And that’s exactly what happened. 

The both of them walked towards Oikawa, he still hasn’t broken his gaze on her. 

“Oikawa, I would like you to meet my fiancé.” Iwaizumi moved his fingers towards hers, interlacing it. 

_ Of course _ , Oikawa knew who she was. They were in the same school, same year together. She was always coming to watch Iwaizumi practice, waiting for him to go home together if Oikawa had extra serves to do. Iwaizumi didn’t put dating as his first priority when they were in school, so he didn’t make any promises to her. It was always volleyball in his head. 

But Iwaizumi’s behaviour around her was evident. Oikawa had always noticed the way his body language would change, how he would stop teasing Oikawa whenever she came to watch them practice. He would also get really defensive when the other third years teased him about her. And how his ears would cutely perk up whenever she calls him. 

The entire volleyball team was completely smitten by her as well. Always asking Iwaizumi to bring her to the ramen store they frequently patronise, asking him to finally introduce her to his second family. But Oikawa dested that he didn’t want a stranger to intrude the bond of the volleyball team.

Heck, it was hard enough to see her talking to the other third years during lunch. Oikawa felt like he was being replaced, even though Iwaizumi kept insisting that he would never let anything else top volleyball. He said volleyball but not Oikawa’s name.

Oikawa suddenly stood up, startling both of them. He couldn’t help it. 

The cream beige polyester sweater she was wearing, just brings him back to the night in December. 

* * *

_ third of december, two years ago. _

The sound of volleyballs slamming on the floor echoed through the court. Oikawa just replied to Iwaizumi's text, telling him that he would finish up in 10 minutes, he had to perfect his serve. The Spring High tournament is two weeks away, he can’t mess a single thing up. This was all he had. 

Iwaizumi knew that when Oikawa said he was going to finish in 10 minutes, it would turn into a few hours, so he had to drag him home. Oikawa’s mother would not stop calling him, her worried voice still playing in his head. He just wanted to get this over and done with. 

When he arrived at the courts, Oikawa was still going hard at it, sweating buckets. His breath letting out an icy mist. Picking the ball up from the basket and smashing it down hard. It was December, but the gymnasium doors were still wide open, as if Oikawa was asking for a death wish, playing in the cold without a jacket on. 

“Oikawa! You better not pick up the next ball if not I will personally tear your Volleyball Weekly magazine.” Iwaizumi said without batting an eyelid. The same threat he has used over the years hasn’t gotten old yet. And he knows it would work. 

Oikawa paused, letting go of the ball. He turned to Iwaizumi, huffing at him, “Iwa-chan, you always do this! Let me serve one more!” He put his hands together, as if begging.

Iwaizumi shook his head, walking towards the nets, slowly untying it. “It’s almost 12AM, I have to sleep.” he said firmly. “Also, I think it might snow tonight.”

Oikawa whined and made a face at Iwaizumi, “All that sleep is wasted! We should practice more to win! And with the snow, it's a sign that the Spring Tournament is here!” He went on talking but then he started to pick up the stray balls over the court and put it back into the basket. Iwaizumi did not reply him. He seemed to be in a bad mood, and hasn't even called him ‘Trashykawa’ yet.

They cleared the court within half an hour, the digital clock on the wall, shining the red digits,  _ 00:33AM.  _ Oikawa locked the gymnasium doors, and turned to Iwaizumi who was looking up at the night sky. True enough, it started to snow, the snowflakes materializing in front of their eyes. 

“I suppose you do not have an umbrella?” Oikawa asked sarcastically, staring at Iwaizumi’s empty hands. Oikawa did not have an umbrella as well, all he had was his sports bag slung across his chest, wearing a dry-fit shirt. He couldn’t wear his jacket since he was still sweaty and he didn’t like the feeling of the material clinging on him. 

“Hurry up, I’ll walk you home if not I would never hear the end of it from your mother.” Iwaizumi barked, running his fingers through his hair, swatting the snow off. As if that would help, the snow was getting heavier and Oikawa felt further away from him, as if out of reach. It wasn’t as if he was usually harsh to him, but the atmosphere was just different. 

They walked on this same familiar path for years, Oikawa could remember how each crack on the concrete looked like and how far away Iwaizumi was walking beside him. Oikawa wanted to huddle closer to him. The wind was picking up speed now, brushing the hair on his arms, he swallowed a shiver. 

“You idiot, why are you only wearing a t-shirt?” Iwaizumi noticed how close Oikawa was walking towards him now, and the goosebumps on his arms slowly rising. He was wearing 3 layers of clothing, so he decided to take one out for Oikawa. 

He removed his black coat, passing it to Oikawa. But stopped him from wearing it. 

Iwaizumi then took off the cream beige sweater he was wearing and exchanged it for the black coat. Oikawa looked at him, his head cocked to the side as if asking a question.

“The sweater looks better in you.” That was all Iwaizumi said. Oikawa put it on gratefully, he didn’t want to tell Iwaizumi that he actually has a jacket in his bag, his fingers smoothing out the creases on the polyester. 

Iwaizumi never knew, but Oikawa loved this sweater on him. It made Iwaizumi look soft like a kid, and it was as if the player on the court was gone. All that’s left was the chocolate brown eyes that Oikawa could drown in.  _ If only you knew how much I liked you. _

  
The snow was getting heavier, slowly damping them. They were almost reaching his home. 

“So, did you have a nice study session with her?” Oikawa broke the cold silence. 

When practice was over, she was already waiting for him outside the gymnasium, tucking her hair behind her ears, waving at him. Iwaizumi quickly muttered goodbye to the team, telling them that he has a study session with her. The entire team started to smack him on the back as he walked past them. Oikawa just shrugged and ignored him. 

The real reason why he stayed till even later today was to hit the frustrations out of him. Everyone had already gone home but he chased them all out, leaving the volleyball court to himself. 

For every impact he inflicted on the ball, every thought of Iwaizumi and her flew across the court. 

The thought of Iwaizumi and the girl cosying up together at his house, burnt at the back of his head. This wasn’t the first time their study sessions had happened, but Oikawa refused to call it a date. 

  
  


Iwaizumi held in his breath when Oikawa asked him that. He was hoping to avoid this subject tonight, he knew how upset she made Oikawa feel, no matter how hard he tried to hide his displeasure whenever she came around. 

That was what Oikawa was good at; hiding his feelings. 

“It was fine, did I tell you that we coincidentally have plans to go to the same university?” Iwaizumi looked straight ahead, he couldn’t bear to look at Oikawa’s face right now. He knows what kind of expression he is displaying, the one where his eyes looked empty. But he had to give Oikawa a heads up, before the graduation ceremony.

Oikawa hummed in response, he didn’t know what to say. He received many scholarships from different universities over the country but he hasn’t decided which one to take. He wants to go wherever Iwaizumi goes. But if the girl is going to be in his future now, where can he go? 

They continue walking down the path, Oikawa moving slightly closer to Iwaizumi. He really wanted to slip his fingers into his and hold it tight, never letting go. Oikawa knows he can’t have Iwaizumi by his side forever. 

There was always this unspoken attraction between them, both too afraid to say it. 

Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi cares for him more than a friend, but his parents would never allow something like  _ that  _ to happen in their household. They want him to settle down, have kids, grow old together with her.

But Oikawa couldn’t care less about what Iwaizumi’s parents thought when he suddenly held Iwaizumi’s finger. They stood outside Oikawa’s doorstep, the walk was faster than they expected. Iwaizumi turned to look at him, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes. He looked like he was going to cry. 

It was now or never, Oikawa could already feel Iwaizumi slipping away.

“Will you come in?” The snow was getting heavier by the minute, Oikawa’s breathing was going faster by the minute as well. 

“Okay.” 

And that was all it took. 

Before Oikawa could slowly unlock the door, Iwaizumi pushed him against it. He placed a hand on his cheek, cupping it and kissed him hard on the mouth. They stumbled into the house, their hands barely getting off each other. Both starving to touch the other, Oikawa couldn’t take it anymore. Iwaizumi’s face was in the shadows, everything felt warmer now. Oikawa felt like the girl didn't even exist anymore. 

They briskly made their way into Oikawa’s bedroom, trying to not make any noise, their lips only breaking apart to catch their breath. Iwaizumi hurriedly took off Oikawa’s bag, dropping it onto the floor without a care. Iwaizumi connected his lips again, determined to not let it go. He slipped his tongue in, Oikawa allowing him to do whatever he wanted. 

Oikawa  _ wants  _ him to do whatever he wants.

He felt everything in him turn into liquid, he could barely stand anymore. He just wants Iwaizumi to actually hold him. Everything felt so right, the way he tugged Iwaizumi’s black coat off, his hands on his neck and the way he ran his fingers through Iwaizumi’s hair. He gripped on it hard. 

They fell on the bed, Iwaizumi’s hand slowly going underneath the sweater, Oikawa suddenly became aware of each cell and caress of Iwaizumi’s rough calloused hands that sent shivers down his spine. It felt like he could see every part of Oikawa as he tore off the sweater, then biting down on his shoulders. The sweater just laid there on the hardwood floor. 

It isn’t the first time they fooled around, Oikawa was always satisfying him when Iwaizumi needed a break. But Oikawa wanted more, he wanted to go even deeper. He wants to touch his heart. He wanted Iwaizumi to say he won’t leave him for her. Oikawa wanted to ask Iwaizumi  _ why _ . 

_ Why were they doing this? Was this out of pity? Did Oikawa look so desperate in his eyes?  _

Before he even realized, everything was off and all he could think about was Iwaizumi gripping the sheets, interlacing his fingers with Oikawa, and whispering in his ear as Oikawa shed a tear.

“I love you but I am sorry.” 

* * *

_ present day, _

Oikawa watched the way Iwaizumi looked at her. 

Iwaizumi was glancing at her, making sure she was comfortable, especially now that Oikawa looked like he might throw a whole table at them. But how could he do that? She was such an angel.

He watched Iwaizumi’s eyes carefully, it is exactly the same pair of eyes that would look back at Oikawa whenever a straight spike goes through. The cheers from the crowd is still loud in his head.

But it wasn’t the same pair of eyes that looked at Oikawa the next morning they made love. 

Everything went back to normal the next day, as if it didn’t happen. They went back to regular practice and teasing. Then onto the Spring Tournaments, Oikawa tossed his final toss to Iwaizumi, putting all of the unsaid words into the toss. Oikawa knew it was the last time he was going to toss for him, especially when he felt the crack on his knee. Iwaizumi also knew that Oikawa would toss to him in a heartbeat. 

He couldn’t look at them anymore as Iwaizumi held her hand. He felt his organs twisting and turning, as if he might throw up. Oikawa tried to fight the tears threatening to spill, a million thoughts burst through his head. 

_ Why would he kiss me that night? Did he already make up his mind? _

“I have to go.” Oikawa’s voice shook and quickly took his scarf and coat, leaving Iwaizumi without a second glance, leaving before he could show him the empty eyes again. Oikawa had to get out of here, he can’t look at his first love, falling with someone new.

But it’s as what people say, your first love isn’t the one you first loved, it is the one who first breaks your heart. 

* * *


End file.
